The Big Book of Worries - Introduction

This is my book. I like to think I am an expert on the subject. I can worry about more or less any thing at any time. And I know I’m not alone in this. You know the feeling, what starts as a small concern, the merest flickering of an idea about something that could conceivably happen, suddenly becomes a life changing, life threatening possibility. Before too long it’s not a possibility any more, it’s almost like it’s already happened. Without even moving from your chair, in your head your life has been changed irrevocably, and a disaster has struck like you always knew it would.

For example, perhaps you are sitting on the neighbours’ couch enjoying some social chit chat when you suddenly start wondering about whether or not you remembered to lock the house. Before you know it, you have imagined the front door springing wide open, because doors can do that can’t they? Now it’s banging wildly in the wind. Your home is not only empty and unguarded, but it’s unlocked and is as good as beckoning in a hoard of opportunist thieves who are helping themselves to everything you own. For goodness’ sake they are stripping the place while you sit here sipping your Martini. What can you do? You wonder just how it’s going to look if you suddenly get up from the couch to stretch your legs, and then if you can casually take a wander past the front window without attracting attention, just to reassure yourself that your TV isn’t making it’s way down the street. Five minutes after this embarrassing little sideshow, you are already wondering about what you saw, could you really see if the door was properly shut from this angle? It could still be unlocked. It probably is! It only takes someone to take a wander up your driveway, and try the lock to find it open. You really need to go back and check that door. You need another excuse. Perhaps you should remember there was something you had to do before you left, something needs taking out of the freezer for dinner perhaps. Would your hosts believe it? Surely anything would be better than sitting here knowing your every possession is being stolen at this very moment. Maybe they walked in the front but are taking everything out the back? Your TV is making it’s way over your back fence right now! That’s it, there’s nothing for it, you need to go back and check that door right away. All in a fluster, you mutter something about frozen spinach, ignoring the incredulous looks you are almost running head long out the front door of your neighbour’s house. All this seems ridiculous, but don’t forget the moment when you get to your door and try the lock with your by now sweat covered palm. Guess what? You find that you had locked it after all. Ok, you feel a little silly but that’s nothing to the feeling of joy and happiness surging through you that all is right with the world once again. You have your whole life in front of you once more, and it’s a wonderful life!

It’s not easy to keep these thoughts inside is it? You didn’t ask for them to appear in your consciousness, they just do. And once they appear, like a seed, they grow, fed by your very own brain, greedily growing into the enormous disaster you know is waiting for you round every corner. And it’s not just the worry of the event, or the consequences, it’s the physical effect they have on you! The dreaded panic attack, the cold sweats or the hot flush, the shaky hand, the difficulty in listening or speaking or even thinking straight. How can you think about anything while your entire brain is consumed with dealing with the by now in process disaster that is befalling you.

I couldn’t really say how many of these incidents I have been through in my life, far too many to count, but if I pulled them altogether I think it would tell not only a lot about me, but also about my life. So, I’m going to try and pretend I can laugh off these worries, like I always pretend to and take a light hearted look at a few from the past, to make not so much an autobiography but more of a worryography.

I hope this turns out alright…….